'Untitled'

Wowzer! I just scrolled down my own blog and realized how foreign it looks to me. The previous posts feel like forever ago. Forever ago, because my life has been very full lately. Full of hard battles and full of great things as well. This is turning out to be a very interesting season of life...I don't quite have my finger on it yet, because I'm probably still in the midst of it all. 

Today felt like a day where I just couldn't win. It felt like every good intention was trampled and my sort of crazy life caught up with me. I'm tired and sweaty from the gym and am in desperate need of:

 1. a shower

 2. a beer 

3. a friend to shoot the breeze with. 

If you are either of these things, lets go camping this weekend.

On a more optimistic note, here are some things that make me happy...

                                        Bluegrass at the kick ass Saturday market in Portland!

                                          Delightful Mariposa flowers... 

                    And my familia (minus Zach and Alec). They're pretty great and we love to have us some fun!

This is where I am

I am in need of some excitement. I want to be stimulated and the rain is not helping. These last two weeks have been harder than usual. I am usually a pretty upbeat person, but I have been struggling...mostly work related. I cannot explain how much I love my job, but it is draining and overwhelming. For the first time I have a job where I am doing something that is rewarding and I am so grateful that I can make even a tiny improvement in someone's life. With such great rewards also comes tiredness and burnout. It is expected that people working in social work type settings will experience it and now I am. I need a break and I'm beginning to daydream more and more about a getaway trip. I am burdened with so many problems all day. They become my burdens and in some sense I want that because I yearn to alleviate the pain and suffering I see everyday, but now I am suffering. It is honestly very hard for me to admit my struggles, but I must remind myself also that my suffering and weakness is God's strength and sharing that with community is how we relate and hope. 

I have also been doing a lot of thinking about my childhood and adolescence. I am nearly finished with the famed 'Reviving Ophelia' by Mary Pipher. She's a psychologist who wrote the book in the early nineties outlining for one of the first times really, the struggle that young girls have in the search for a healthy self in a culture that idolizes unrealistic expectations for them. I started reading the book to see what it was all about since I have heard about it so much throughout school. It has really surprised me with how much I am learning about myself and our culture. Her stories about these young girls she's counseling have awakened some feelings and experiences that I have never really given much thought to. I feel very fortunate, for my parents and my childhood, after reading this book. The most interesting part of the book thus far has been the comparisons between how boys and girls are socialized in this society. Mary Pipher so eloquently outlines the differences that are apparent without being depressing or pessimistic about the culture. It is a very hopeful portrayal and I would recommend it to anyone interested (especially if you are a mom or dad interested in learning what young girls experience these days during adolescence). 

Well, there you have it. I feel a small feat with this blog since I am not a terribly forthright person with my struggles, especially on the internet. I initially intended for this blog to be about the smoothies I have been addicted to making every morning...I suppose there is some depth left there yet...

older and wiser

No, it is not my birthday and though I am the ripe young age of 22, I feel as though I have been realizing and maturing in ways recently that are very new to me. I sort of always lived with the mentality that there should be no regrets in life... 'for all we do is determined and makes us who we are today.' This is somewhat true, our life choices mold who we are to become, but I have come to realize and be comfortable with the fact that I have many regrets. No major ones, I am content and delighted with my present circumstances. I am for the first time comfortable admitting that I have made mistakes as everybody else, but now I regret those decisions and wish that they could be undone. Mostly referring to relationships, I could have definitely been a better friend, wife, sister, student, worker whatever. I used to get so nervous with the thought of having major regrets, but I am now learning that regrets are what influence us to change. I am remorseful for some of the things I have done...I would love to change some things I have said or relationships I have abandoned or neglected. Self reflection is so vital and I am learning to challenge those old ways of thinking and attitudes to become a healthy, loving and gracious person. Sometimes I feel older than I really am, but I am still learning the simple lessons in life that remind me that I am only 22. There is a lot more to learn and I have most definitely not arrived...even though I would like to think I have. 

In other news, we have moved downtown and couldn't be happier! We love being downtown and so close to the things that were always across town from us. We spent the morning riding bikes and enjoying the sun on the river trail. Zach is slowly moving on up in the coffee world and is starting to get more shifts with Sue's (which is where I spend most of my weekend these days.) Yes, yes...things are quite nice.  

Spring has arrived! (or just teasing...)

There's nothing quite like the beginnings of spring and the stirring excitement that it creates in me. It's the kind of day where any excuse is a good one to take a walk anywhere. I think my body has really been craving the sun because I could not get enough of it. I could have basked in it all the live long day. I am giddy with excitement thinking of all the great spring/summer time activities that I have been missing... swimming, bbq, bike riding, green grass, happy people, cold beers, and seeing more friends. Winter is such a hard time to be sociable, people just want to be warm and that definitely does not consist of being outside or doing anything fun. Harsh I know, but I could really go without the winter months. It's not 

officially Spring yet, but I celebrated the first day today with my best friend, a delicious beer, walks and a pizza pie almost ready for eatin.

And now I will leave you with the last remnants of winter in the great Yosemite valley.

Zach's family drove to Mariposa for his birthday celebration with my family. The makings for a truly wonderful weekend.

  14 people piled into 2 SUVs for an exciting day in the park. Our first destination after the glorious poppy(ed) canyon was the nearest snowy area for a giant snow ball fight. Sadly there are no pictures of the event, but it surely was an event that lasted over an hour. I laughed harder than I have in a long time, mostly over my inaccurate throws that missed people left and right. Winter does have some benefits I suppose.

Downtown bound

Yes-sir-ee, we are moving downtown! We payed our deposit and are very ready for a change and move. Ever since I've lived in Redding I have wanted to live in the downtown area, so it will be nice to escape living surrounded by giant corporate buildings. Spring is just around the bend and I want to ride bikes and experience a different side to Redding before we skip out of town. We're moving into the Coverdale's place and they are moving into the Edwardson's old place. A nice little swap. So, come down and visit the new Harrison's downtown! 

Also, do me a favor and watch Blindness. It's fresh, as in just came out on video I think and quite worth a few hours of your time. So, go rent it and get back to me then. 

4-H

I don't even write blogs anymore, I only post pictures. Sorry if you care, but how could you resist such a sweet picture? Actually this weekend was very eventful and great with lots of hang out time with friends, but all I captured was a small animal swap meet at Epperson's Flea market. Ah, I want a baby goat, but it would only be cute for like another week and then it would already be big and stinky. Their eyes are pretty creepy looking anyway.

If only every weekend were as such

Here are a few choice pics from our recent trip to exciting Bend, Oregon. I have never been to the area before and really enjoyed myself in the company of friends and plenty of adventures. We skated, biked, lounged, walked, shopped, danced, tubbed, scrabbled, ate and had a merry ol' time. The only problem is that now that I have the taste of vacation, I can't seem to get back in the groove of work. All I want to do is play all day.